Trainwreck Diaries

Things are not going particularly well.

As a result of not getting paid when I should’ve, I predictably have no money. Apparently, not having money causes problems such as my phone being cut off because I can’t pay my bill and being unable to buy any or even get the bus into town to get near the shops. I can’t even afford to do laundry – luckily the lovely woman who runs the linen room here took pity on me and let me do it over there. I’m getting by on small cash handouts from my mum, only about £10 a week but they barely have enough to get by so I feel bloody guilty for taking even that little.

The job isn’t helping. When the boss isn’t having a go at me for things that aren’t my fault, she’s asking questions that I can’t answer. Seriously, I don’t know everything off the top of my head, particularly when I’m not the only person working on the same thing. Apparently I’m meant to know what everyone is doing. Aside from that, it’s getting really busy, systems are getting confused, things aren’t matching up where they should be and it’s generally a massive clusterfuck. This is causing arguments between me and my colleague… who also happens to be my housemate, one of my best friends and the only person on hand to keep me sane at the moment – basically, the one person I really don’t want to argue with right now.

I need a break. I need to go home for a week, away from this place and all the shit that comes along with it, and do absolutely nothing but drink tea, play with the cat and watch TV. Naturally, this break isn’t going to happen. People at work are gradually wandering off so we’re short as it is… and, besides, there’s only two of us on the part of the job I’m doing. I don’t want to sound arrogant but I genuinely doubt they’d be able to function without me, at least for the next couple of weeks. There’s a good chance we’ll run out of work by then, in which case I won’t even have to ask for the time off… I just have to hope I don’t crack and go completely mental before then. I might book off next Friday and the following Monday so I can get a long weekend at least.

This… this makes me very happy. David Ford has long been overdue massive success and it finally looks like he might get it. He’s one of the most hard-working and (in my opinion) wildly talented musicians in the world today. Also, if you get to meet him, he’s a genuinely nice guy with so much love for his fans, and so he deserves every single good thing that’s coming to him.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/jul/13/david-ford-review

If you’re not familiar with his music, go find it. Now. You’ll be glad you did.

Hello again.

I’ve completely lost count of how many times I’ve changed this site. Seems like a couple of times a year that I screw something up or just get sick of what’s up here, scrap the lot and start again. This time it was both – I intended to scrap it all and go from scratch anyway, but the screw-up wasn’t my fault – something went wrong with the automatic update thing, which meant I had to delete the software and completely reinstall.

“So, what do I have planned this time?”, I hear you ask in my mind. Well. The last thing I tried to start up here (a music review site) was always a bloody stupid idea considering my eternal lack of motivation and accordingly never got started… so this time it’s just a personal blog. I know, I’ve had dozens of those and they’ve all failed, but this time I’ve decided I won’t pressure myself to write because that’s the one way to guarantee I have nothing to say, and I won’t say “my intention with this blog is (insert idea here)” because it never works out that way. So I’ll just write about whatever, whenever.

Oh, and for the record: this layout and colour scheme is only temporary. Searching for the perfect theme is invariably a waste of time – I always end up finding one that’s near enough what I want and then tweaking it to my own specifications. It’s been a bloody long time since I dabbled in any sort of coding, let alone PHP (which I’ve always struggled with, if I’m honest) and I’m far too stressed and tired right now to deal with it right now. It’s been a complete nightmare of a day already (long story short: someone in personnel or payroll fucked up big time, I’m not getting paid this month), coding troubles might just be the final straw.

As of tomorrow, or possibly later this evening, my internet connection is going down for maintenance and won’t be back up for a week… so I guess I’ll have plenty to rant about by then. See you on the other side.